COLD WATER

"One of the hardest things you will ever have to do,

 my dear, is to grieve the loss of a person who is still alive."

This one is for you, N. 

A poem-esque piece I wrote once upon a dark time:

How does it feel like to miss someone you love...but may never be with again? It's like holding your breath underwater waiting for the moment that you can rise up and breathe again. You stay there, suffocating in the misery of yearning for the one that got away, with the small naive hope that they will return to you. You're suffocating and slowly you are dying. The only thing providing you with life is that small glimmer of hope, that same glimmer you see as the sun reflects off the surface of the water as you struggle in the dark deep water below. But there is that part of you that wonders, will I ever get that moment to breathe again? What if they never come back?

THE MAVERICK

ˈmav(ə)rɪk/ noun:
an unorthodox or independent-minded person.

I talked to N yesterday and it made me realise something I've subconsciously learnt over the past two years. People teach you to play hard to get because that's how you keep the guy, that's how you keep them interested. But I remember something my brother told me a year ago: "When you're in a relationship, there's no need to play games. You're both in the relationship because you obviously like each other." And it made sense, yet didn't really fully make sense... Because we all know when we start replying quicker, sound a little too eager, a tad clingy, the guy for some stupid magical-unicorn reason, stops reciprocating and becomes cold, or just less attentive. Steve Harvey wrote a best-selling book for women teaching them how play the game: "Act like a lady, think like a man." Part three is called the 'Playbook: How to Win the Game' which pretty much sums up how this self-help book almost ruined me.