OBSESSION

"You could be anyone if you put in the time. You will reach the top. 

And that's that. I'm not talented, I'm obsessed."

- Conor McGregor

The last few hours of the 2010s decade and I managed to squeeze one last photoshoot and blog post in - making this year's total of 5 published posts. Poor effort - I know. Hopefully in 2020 I can devote myself to doing more of this because this didn't even take that long. 15 minutes of makeup and 15 minutes of shooting. The post-editing was the most time-consuming part but that is also my favourite part of the process. 

This new decade scares me, in the most exhilarating way possible. Because I'm now 25 and this decade is where A LOT will happen. Hopefully get married, have children and create an amazing business (or two, or three)... 

DAYLIGHT

“I don’t wanna look at anything else now that I saw you… 

Now I see daylight. Only see daylight.”

- Taylor Swift (Daylight)

It’s morning now… Now 25, a quarter century old, it’s time for the annual pre-NYE reflections. Today, it’s just mine.

I never liked ‘winning’ - whether it’s winning lotteries or any other completely luck-driven competitions, because I have this weird idea about the balance in the world. Everything good that happens will be balanced out with the bad (and vice versa). You win some, you lose some. I don’t like the idea of winning lotto because I feel like this luck comes from a finite supply somewhere and afterwards you’d be hit with a string of bad luck.

SEPTEMBER

Do you remember 

The [27th] night of September? 

Love was changin' the minds of pretenders 

While chasin' the clouds away 

Our hearts were ringin' 

In the key that our souls were singin' 

As we danced in the night, remember 

How the stars stole the night away  

- Earth, Wind & Fire (September)

I told him I was having a terrible day. He asked me why. I ranted to him the things that were going wrong. And he said: ah ok. Are you serious, is that it?... but other than that good day :) ? I couldn't help but smile at how ridiculous he was but how effective it was too. In a way it felt like he wasn't listening to me. In a way I knew he was playing. And in a way... it was an extremely clever way to get me to forget all about the negatives and focus on the positives. And I know him. In his playful dismissive way, he made me smile. Other than all those things I ranted about, yes it was a great day. I was breathing, I had a job, the weather was looking lovely (despite being stuck indoors for most of it). Lovely day :P I replied. 

EMPIRE STATE OF MIND

"Something's always happening here. 

If you're bored in New York, it's your own fault."

- Myrna Loy

As I'm getting more and more entrenched into the professional world (especially in the legal industry) I find it harder and harder to be expressive on this public medium. I used to write journals anonymously on an online artwork community - the only thing holding me back was my fear of speaking ill thoughts into existence. Now? I feel the world watching... judging... Ghostly whispers of "Perth is so small" in the back of my mind, repeating constantly. (You know what is not so small? New York. To that, I will get back to later on this page). On some rare occasions I hear about people reading my words, people I've only met for the first time, and it makes me feel so extremely naked. The fact that they could know about my deep 2 am thoughts when I talk to them for the first time at some party and I would know nothing about them... And you know whose fault that is? Mine. Yet here I am doing the same thing... writing not so anonymously on a not so private medium.

It's weird.

ACCLIMATE

ˈaklɪmeɪt,əˈklʌɪmət/

verb

"to adjust or adapt to a

new climate, place, or situation."

It's been a while, again, I must admit. But I will always come back here to my writing sanctuary as my source of therapy to remain grounded, to take time to breathe and think about the past and plan my way forward. You (may or may not) hear that reflection and goal setting is important to a person's success and I just happen to take this a little more... publicly.

It has occurred to me recently why routine is deadly. In a time and place of newness we acclimate. We are more alert, more conscious, try harder. In a time and place of routine? We are half present, sometimes even completely absent. We become blind to our surroundings and we stop trying. And when we stop trying, things die.