GOLD & PROMISES

"I love new years. I love the fact that I'll be leaving a whole

year behind me, no matter if it was good, bad, or average.

I like that kind of closure. I love this feeling of starting 

over again and having a fresh year ahead of me,

 filled with new chances, new experiences." 

There is only one person you can truly rely on at the end of the day, not to criticise those who have stood by your side at times of despair, but the person that is always there time and time again is yourself. There is no harm in investing in those around you too, but never overlook the importance of investing in yourself. If there's one thing I can take with me from 2015 into 2016 and onwards it'll be learning to love others without losing sight of loving oneself.

While I was in Japan, on a train in Kyoto, I had an interesting conversation with my older brother about people, the people in our lives. Not in the gossiping type of sense, but speaking with deep thoughts. My brother randomly stated: 'Isn't it weird how the people who you were close to 5 years ago, you rarely see these days? Makes you think that the people you are close to today may not be the people you are close to in 5 years'. And his observation really hit me. Rarely are people permanent. So don't ever treat anyone as permanent. Value them like you could lose them at any time. That's the thing about life. It's constantly changing whether we notice it or not, whether you want it to or not. Who were the people you celebrated 2014 New Years with and who are the people you are planning on spending 2015 New Years with now? It's likely not the same group of people. People come and go, some stay for longer, some do end up staying permanently, but most go. Some come back and that's okay too. Embrace the fact that most people now won't be in your future, but the beauty is in the fact that equally amazing people will come into your life.

It's crazy how you just meet these people and you click like magic, these are the new ones. Old ones fade a bit but some still remain. People move in and out of your life. We grow and the people around us reflect the transition we are going through. It is only normal that those around us change, as it's a healthy sign that we are growing. As little kids it's hard to understand that things change. I guess that's the hardest part about growing up, accepting the fact that people do leave. Some of us get more attached than others and therefore hurt more when these things happen, when the heart does not feel ready to see them leave. I am not sure whether it is a blessing or curse to be able to feel so attached to people. To be able to feel... I've finally accepted it now though, that people leave. And in accepting this I am more open in letting people enter my life.You cannot let people in without accepting the fact that they may, and most probably, one day leave (well you can but when that day comes, trust me, it'll hurt so much more). Beginnings are always amazing but I cannot cling onto beginnings. There will be endings but with endings bring the possibility of more beginnings. It's never a complete loss. In order to be happy you must feel sad. Everything always balances out.  

Now do you understand why I'm a doer and not a talker, why I sometimes come off impatient or impetuous? When I want to do something, I just go for it. I don't wait around for someone specific to do it with me. Because life is never certain, you can never predict tomorrow. If someone is willing to go somewhere and do something with me today I won't wait to do it with someone who promised they'll do it with me next week. Sorry. Because who is to say that we'll still be friends next week? Who is to say that we'll still be alive next week? Who is to say there won't be something that'll just 'pop-up' and we have to reschedule, and reschedule, and reschedule and eventually just forget about it.

And I hate promises, because they set an expectation. Analogically, for the promisor (the person making the promise) it's like using your credit card, you spend the money and feel the happiness today (when you make the promise and make that person happy) but in the future you will have to pay that debt off (the promise must eventuate). Now this can go both ways, if you don't fulfill your promise then the debt shark will come after you (the person you made the promise to will bite your head off) and if you do fulfill your promise, well they don't get any happier, you've reaped your benefits on the day you made the promise, from then on you're just trying to avoid the negative consequences (of them biting your head off). I don't want to bite any heads, so just don't promise me anything. If you do, make sure the time frame between the promise and the day it eventuates isn't a long period, the waiting game isn't fun. But the best is always not to promise anything at all, skip the talk and jump straight to the walk.

However there is a way for the promisee to avoid the ignorance of the promisor: don't let them reap the benefits on the day of the promise, but rather only when it eventuates. Simply put, don't get your hopes up when they have this grand idea of something you guys should go do. Nod your head and brush it off. Only be pleased by this grand idea when you see it happen. They're trying to buy the jumper with their credit card, just don't give them the jumper, wait until they come back with the cash to buy it. Geez, my motto should be "CASH ONLY", hey. I just don't want to be one that clings onto words that never eventuate and only be led to disappointment. This is my way of coping with change, and avoiding disappointments that I am just so tired of. This is my way of controlling the uncontrollable. There is no hate behind these thoughts, it is only an acceptance of the reality of change in order to face it with an easier heart. Simply put: Life doesn't wait around, and neither will I.  

"I love new years. I love the fact that I'll be leaving a whole year behind me, no matter if it was good, bad, or average. I like that kind of closure. I love this feeling of starting over again and having a fresh year ahead of me, filled with new chances, new experiences." 2015 was filled with a lot of new beginnings for me. New studies, new people, new job... Now 2016 is learning to maintain them. And learning that 'beginnings' are great, but the journey can be great too. Here's to an even greater year ahead filled with new chances and new experiences!      

Willow & Lace Dress / Lareina Necklace / MAC Rebel Lipstick

Photos courtesy of Angela Wang