CHEATER

"Cheating isn't always kissing, touching, or flirting. 

If you have to delete text messages so your partner

doesn't see them, you're already there."

The truth is every man is tempted to cheat, the goal is to find someone who is strong and smart enough to resist such a temptation. Asking M how he resists from being curious about other women after years of dating his current girlfriend, he replies, you just need to change your life up so you don't get bored, you need to know that often the problem is not with the girl but with the surroundings.

This is what I call a smart man. The goal is not to find an unattractive man, a stupid man or an extremely kind man because even unattractive, stupid, kind men cheat. Find a man with a strong moral compass with an even stronger will to fight temptation. Someone who fights for you everyday. Otherwise, be ready to have to deal with cheating. Because to be with someone for more than 60 years, a man is bound to be curious about the other women around him, those younger than you, funnier than you or simply more mysterious than you.

So then my question is, as modern age women, have we come to the point where we must simply accept the fate of being cheated on? Is it almost inevitable to occur? Because there is just too much interconnectedness in the world we now live in, too much exposure to choices, too much social media, too much access and ease, that cheating has become the norm. (And that is not to say cheating is exclusive to women, men get cheated on too.)

Even the world's most desirable women get cheated on (look at Beyonce, and Victoria's Secret model Adriana Lima). It's not because they're not beautiful, they are, both inside and out! It's because they are human, and they are/were married to humans. Anything can get normal and boring overtime. Reflect on all the things that you've ever wanted and ended up getting. That new job, that new car, that new house, that new pair of shoes. Initially it's great! You cherish it so deeply, but give it a few months or years and you'll be complaining about your job, you'll be flooring that car, you'll be living in a messy house, you'll be throwing around your pair of shoes like it's rubbish. Sadly that's just what we do as humans. We eventually take things for granted. You just need to be smart enough not to overlook the feelings of your loved ones. Shoes don't cry when you treat them like rubbish, but your partner will.

I've become a lot more realistic these days and no longer believe in the concept of 'soulmate'. You simply find people who are more compatible with you than others and, given the right timing, it works out. This is why when people divorce, they can still find happiness. There are numerous other people out there who you are equally compatible with. Getting tired of your old pair of shoes? Throw them out for a pair of new ones. But society looks down at this if you do it to people! Simply because it hurts them. Like I said, shoes don't cry, but your partner will. You should not be going around breaking people's hearts. Find someone you're compatible with and stay with them, when things get boring or tough, work at it. Don't just leave. People are not objects, they cannot be disposed of when you find someone more exciting and new.

Then the next question is: is being broken up with for another girl (or boy) worse or better than being cheated on? I used to think it is better to be cheated on than to be left for another girl, because if someone cheated on me it would be so much easier for me to move on knowing he was an outright d*ckhead. But for a guy to play the noble card and replace you like that, that's hard stuff to accept and move on from. Questioning yourself in what you did wrong to lose such a noble man... However there is also the possibility of self-blame in the alternative situation, if someone you love cheats on you. You blame yourself for failing to have a good judgement of character, and you will be engulfed with the feeling of having your trust betrayed. So it's a tough question, which is worse?

But my food blogger bestie made a valid point, to break up with someone for another person is emotional cheating. It is cheating in that you have consciously allowed yourself to be placed in the situation where you become emotionally attached to another person who is not your girlfriend (or boyfriend). But another argument is that before we actually put a ring on anything, we are free, we can continue to search for a more compatible life-partner, our eyes are allowed to wander. The arguments run wild, the morality in this topic is rather grey. I pray I will never have to deal with it first-hand, but like I said, I feel as though society has come to the point where we simply have to accept the inevitable: one day you will be cheated on. Whether you forgive and stay together is another topic.

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