Tuesday, 1 November 2016

LOVE THE WAY YOU LIE

"The one thing she wants me to do is to marry someone
 who loves me more than I love him, because a woman will always give
 even more than they need to... we're selfless beings, it's maternal.
 Even with her husband she said it will be that way with them as well... 
They will only meet you half way if they love you a little more." 
- Rihanna


My father has always told me this: "Find someone who loves you more than you love him". And I didn't understand it at the time, even now I'm not sure if I have fully understood it. It sounded selfish, if not selfish, it sounded miserable... Why would I want to be with someone who I didn't love as much as I could love someone else? Wouldn't I be happier if I was with someone I truly loved to the deepest of my capabilities? I think the most important part about this is the advice came from my father, not my mother, so for a male figure to tell me that I should find a man that loves me more than I love them... that's something...


Rihanna's quote about what her Grandma Dolly told her brought me back to what my father has been telling me all these years... and the moment she said the word 'maternal', it kind of hit me. I've been trying to piece together thoughts to explain why I love so selflessly when I am in a relationship that I end up putting my lover before myself. And I've been trying to figure out how to stop doing that in order to protect myself and not get hurt again in my next relationship... how do I stop loving the person more than I love myself? And that was when I drew a comparison with the love that my mother showers on my brothers and I, that equally truly selfless love. I realised I get it from her. 

The love I express upon my lovers are that of maternal love, truly selfless and equally dangerous when taken for granted. And there is nothing I can do to change that about myself, I cannot make myself love differently. That is who I am, and that is how I love. So in order to protect yourself from being taken granted for, you have to love someone who loves you even more. It is not selfish because you don't choose to love them any less, you love them to your full capabilities. Your love is love, it is selfless. You love them at 100%. You just need someone who loves you more, at 200%. It is there where you just end up meeting each other half-way. Because I guess, their 200% is the same intensity as your 100%.


Some women are capable of being loved by men who simply love her equally, because not all of us are maternal, and her love isn't selfless, and there's nothing wrong with that! Different people are made for, well, different people.

"You are a beautiful person, dear... inside and out... and you owe it to yourself to treat yourself the way you deserve: special and without compromise. Of COURSE when you love someone and they love you, we WANT to compromise for that person... but they compromise for you, too... equal parts... and your compromise should not feel painful... you want to because you want to, not because you feel you have to or you should... and that is the beauty of love." - Tomas


Lareina Pink Faux Leather Jacket / TEMT White Faux Leather Crop Top 
/ Valleygirl Grey Pencil Skirt / Innovaire Stiletto Heels / 
Colette Earrings / Lareina Bracelets

MAC 'Rebel' Lipstick / Shisheido Foundation / Estee Lauder Bronzer /
MAC Soft & Gentle Highlighter / Victoria's Secret Eyeshadows

10 comments:

  1. Beautiful! And while I have definitely heard that saying about being with a man who loves you more than you love him... I honestly believe that you should both love the other more than you love yourself. That's true love at it's finest. A selfless love. Great post! I love getting deep haha!

    Love, Lindsey
    http://thenomisniche.com/

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    Replies
    1. Totally agree! <3 Thanks for reading :)

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  2. Thank you for this!! For sure this came from a tough spot. Wishing you all the best! And btw, you look great in that fit! <3

    xx,
    Kit | THINGS SHE LOVES

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  3. Love it! I really enjoyed reading your post and it made me think a lot. Also, the outfit is amazing and you look stunning!

    http://www.mursway.com/

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  4. when i see sexy girl pose I'm think it good too :))

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