BUDAPEST: PEARL OF THE DANUBE

"The trouble is, you think you have time."

- Buddha

The beautiful river of the Danube flows elegantly through Budapest in the most grandeur manner. With Buda on the West and Pest on East of the river, there is modest competition between the locals as to which is the 'better side'. This was very reminiscent to Perth: North of the river vs South of the river. A constant friendly debate between my partner and I, who reside in different parts of the city.

My partner and I often have late-night strolls on the riverside of Perth however none in any city I have ever visited so far is comparable to the fairy-tale ambience of the Danube river in Budapest. The late-night strolls in this alluring city was the most enchanting experience. Cold crisp nights with lights glistening off the surface of the waters like diamonds. The night was sparkling. Hand in hand with my partner, I'd spend forever wondering if I would ever experience this calm euphoria feeling again. Romantic was an understatement. It was flawless. 

Budapest had a very ethereal feel at night with the city centre completely draped in pearly white Christmas lights everywhere. I would say Budapest was one of the top places that I loved except for the ridiculous price to pay when it comes to accessing a toilet (whether in shops or on streets). Toilets here were twice the price of the other places in Europe. 1 whole Euro instead of 0.50 Euros. For an Australian who does not need to pay for toilets when out in public, geez does spending money on toilets seem to add up!

Budapest, though beautiful from first glance, has a dark history lurking within. On our last day here we decided to pay a visit to the House of Terror museum. At first it sounded like a horror house of trivial fun, but do not overlook the significance of this place. Foreigners passing by, like us, would not have even looked twice at this light blue building on the corner of Andrassy Boulevard, next to all the other similar looking buildings. I guess like people, behind all their smiley faces and fun-loving personas, we all have hidden demons. 

The House of Terror was my personal highlight of the Budapest experience as it had left me feeling completely different. This horrific museum is devoted to the evils of Hungary's totalitarian past and was once the headquarters for the secret police force of the country's fascist Arrow Cross party, installed by the Nazis towards the end of WWII. And the tragic part is even after the horror inflicted by the Arrow Cross, their end was just the beginning of the Soviet's terror. After the Soviet invasion, the building was taken over but was used for the same purposes: to torture and inflict terror. We entered and roamed around the three floors of this building, listening to stories of the tragic lives affected by this period, with photos, videos and real-life items such as clothing retained to remind us just how truly blessed we now are.

Seeing real life faces cry over real-life people and real-life tragedy had me so intensely immersed in this past world. An old man was videoed weeping over young men and boys who were hung for taking part in an uprising. However, nothing compared to the final part of this tour. We entered the lift, the doors closed eerily, and it began to move down at a suspiciously slow pace. All of a sudden the lights turned off. The screen behind us turned on and the man (videoed back in its time) began to talk... and to be honest, I was so overwhelmed at this point I could not remember what was spoken. What was yet to come overshadowed the entire experience leading up to this very moment. 

The doors opened. I walked out and found myself in this dark, cold underground dungeon. There were cells everywhere. One particular cell was smaller than a coffin: the "standing room only" cell. You did not need to have claustrophobia to imagine the fear this cell inflicted upon people. A tiny peephole was on the door, but other than that it would've been complete darkness. People put into this cell would not have been able to sit due to the size. And apparently school children would take turns to push each other into this brutal "standing room only" cell. Some were put into this for days and some even for weeks. Imagine being forced to stand in the cold dark for that insane period, and on top of that, all the other mental terror that's happening around you and to the people you love. The physical, psychological and mental torture.

In this underground there was also a room with a single gallows, with its rope just hanging there, staring back at me. I wasn't sure whether this very gallows was the one used to hang people back in the days but I did not dare enter the room. 

The dark eeriness of this entire place left me feeling so different. So grateful yet so sad. Everything didn't matter in that moment. All those things in the past that had affected me, made me depressed, had become so trivial. But days, weeks and months have since passed by and this feeling disappeared, becoming forgotten. I became resubmerged into my own world, my own entitlements, my own desires. Not until something happened recently and this feeling resurfaced.        

I must confess things have been really hard lately, and often it's difficult to put certain things into words when your world is suddenly flipped upside down, inside out and so heavy that you can barely breathe. Your world comes crashing down and it seems so far from reality, like a nightmare that you pray you would just wake up from. Please can I wake up. 

To be honest, I'm still struggling to accept the news. My heart physically hurts for a loved one who has been forced to be brave and strong in the face of death, to be forced into such with no forewarning at all. You think you have so much time, until a doctor tells you, no, you only have a few weeks or months. How the hell are you supposed to come to terms with that. After all that has happened to you, all the tragedy, you think maybe life would look better soon. But no.   

Times like these make you appreciate the smaller things so much more, and everything else just fades away. You stress so much over all these things but what is its worth without the health to enjoy it, or loved ones to share it with. We are so deluded to think that there is a tomorrow. And I say this in my posts so often, but now even I doubt whether it was just all talk for me. Because it still came at such a shock that someone could be living life with the anticipation of a tomorrow, of a next week, next year, next decade, and for that right to be ruthlessly ripped away from you. Life is short, that is not a cliché.

As Jesse Itzler says: Get the most out of life, be aware of our own mortality. Let that be what makes you tick. It doesn't have to be depressing. People talk about the importance of having a relationship with your friends and family, but no one talks about time. We should have a relationship with time as it is a key component of your life. You might only have 20 Summers left. Urgency kicks in and fear disappears. We won't even be here in 100 years so why not take that chance. You should focus on building a life resume, not just invest in your work resume. A life resume is a real indication of who you are and what you are becoming. And be aware of how much time and worry we spend on what is irrelevant: "What should I wear today, how should I get to the party tonight, should I taxi, uber or drive...?" It's exhausting. A lot of things are time-zappers. What is important to you? What isn't and is taking away those precious hours? Simplify and prioritise.

I hope you do not need to experience what I have had to experience for it to be a wake-up call that no, we don't have forever in this world. We might not even have next month. Life is so fragile, nothing is promised. Do what you can and do it now. It is not guaranteed that you will still be here next month nor is it guaranteed your loved ones (parents, partners, siblings, friends) will be here. Spoil your loved ones when you still have the chance, while it's not too late...