INVISIBLE STRING

Time, mystical time 

Cuttin' me open, then healin' me fine 

Were there clues I didn't see? 

And isn't it just so pretty to think 

All along there was some 

Invisible string 

Tying you to me?

- Taylor Swift (Invisible String)

*Oops I did it again. Last post was in July. And here we are in November (BIRTHDAY MONTH)... Back for two more posts before the end of the year to tie things up. 

What we should never agree to: external validation and succumbing to its pressure... Here I am, a month from turning 26 (...oh dear lord 30 is imminent). The age where my parents married each other and had their first child (my older brother). A time where my friends and acquaintances are getting engaged, left right and centre. But I don't feel any rush and I don't feel the need or want either. For them, they are ready. For me, I am not.

For those feeling left behind in this age, whether because you're still single, living at home or stuck in a job you don't like (or all 3), know that time, mystical time has a way of playing things out in its own wonderous way. Should you rush it, should you force things, you will only lose. You will lose people, you will lose joy, you will lose yourself. Just because everyone is doing it, doesn't mean you need to follow suit.

I see getting married the same way as I see moving out of home. You have the rest of your life to live that lifestyle. You have 50+ years to live away from your parents (and 20+ years of that to live without them on this Earth). Why rush it? Why wish away the days you will never be able to get back? 

As for getting married (if that's your thing)? If you get married in your 20s, that's 50+ years to be married to that one person. If you rush it, you are simply that much closer to divorce. I would much rather get to know all corners of this human being before I tie myself to them (especially how they handle conflict and what happens when we do not see eye to eye - because things are not always rosy with prince charming) than to rush into something for the sake of ticking a box of 'life accomplishments'. The biggest life accomplishment, as bloody cliche as it is, is being happy.

If it hasn't happened for you yet, why worry, why get anxious, why wish away the days of... being able to spend more time with your friends, more time to go on dates? Every stage of life has its own beauty which should be cherished. The beauty of moving out of home will come and you should cherish it, the beauty of being married will come and you should cherish it, the beauty of being a parent will come and you should cherish it. But for now the beauty of being single/living-at-home is here, and you should cherish it.

Although I will be moving out of home next year, having bought land with my SO and getting ready to build, this was in no way influenced by anyone around me (other than my SO who wanted to move out of home and get his own place so I thought why not do it together - timing feels right). I won't be rushing into marriage just because we are moving in together. I'm not the type who thinks we must get married before we move in, however at the same time, I'm not the type who believes we should move in together before we get married. I go with the flow, with what feels right for me, for us, for that time. There is no storybook for how your life should be lived, there is no strict order as to life. The more you try to stick to the book, the more you find yourself losing control and feeling crazy. 

There is an invisible string tying you to your future. Don't rush things. But at the same time don't be lazy. Go out there and live life.

Tokito Sheer Top / H&M Dress / Lareina Cardigan / Converse Sneakers / Swarovski Earings