LUCID DREAMING

"Dreams are real as long as they last.

Can we say more of life?"

- Havelock Ellis

I laid on the warm tiles and stared up into the bright blue cloudless sky this afternoon. Feeling the warmth of the sun and listening to the calming sound of the water fountain. Later I found myself playing music on our old forgotten piano. And tonight... I sit here reading old novels I had written 7 years ago, captivated by my own young wild mind and reminded by how creative I once was... yet saddened by what 'growing up' can do to it.

I haven't taken a break like this since... three years ago. A break where I took time to really get back in touch with my own creativity. My largest novel ever written was 185 A4 pages long and 104,680 words. And it's crazy to think I don't write anymore, not fictional stories at least. I don't blog anymore either... and I ought to get back in touch with my deeper thoughts.

"Dreams are real as long as they last, can we say more of life?". I am always drawn back to the meaning of existence. If you're an avid follower of my writing you would have realised I think a lot about the purpose of life. So much of everything that happens honestly means nothing in the grand scheme of existence. A life lasts 80 so years, but how long have humans existed for? We are but a tiny insignificant speck on this timeline, yet our whole life we think we matter. The millenial crisis.

We might not matter in the whole grand scheme of things but that does not mean we cannot make a difference in the world. No matter how big... or small. One difference made to someone's day, is a difference made none the less. 

For the past year or two I have been so caught up in making great big changes in my life, investing in growth and experiences and never once stopping to think "I have done good. I am doing good." Constantly thinking "it is not enough... I am not there yet". Sure I enjoy the present day and I love life at the moment. But my head is 90% of the time thinking about the future. And the problem with constantly thinking about the future is one day you will wake up and think to yourself where did all your time go? Your life would feel like it was all a dream.

Make a difference to your life, or other people's... but don't kill yourself stressing over making evolutionary change. Do your best and things will happen if it's meant to be. Leave a little faith to the universe. 

On another note, how beautiful is this photo of the old man staring up at the rainbow apartment walls...

Christiaan & York Lyon Brown Watch / Only Denim Jacket / Supre Black Top / 

Cotton On Denim Shorts / Converse Sneakers / Forever21 Accessories