WILL YOU STILL LOVE ME

"Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful? 

Will you still love me when I've got nothing but my aching soul?"

- Lana Del Rey

Yes - I am temporily back! Won't be regular fortnight posts and unfortunately I don't think I'll be able to even commit to monthly ones but it's November (birthday month!) and my last post was back in July. The hiatus has been unbearable and I have missed the sanity of writing (not so much the dressing up for photos part - or having photos taken part either).



It's almost 1am on a weeknight and my mother's story about my grandfather stays embedded in my mind. A few days ago he was found in the toilet unable to get up by himself. Apparently he went to the toilet alone because his caretaker went out to buy groceries. He squatted down (Chinese squat toilets - google it, or not...) and being 90 years old he couldn't get back up so he sat there squatting for hours with water dripping all over him until someone found him. It breaks my heart to hear how hopeless old people must feel. I mean I got so frustrated with myself when I injured my shoulder this year and couldn't put on a shirt like a normal person. Other people's helplessness saddens me so much. And my own helplessness angers me.

And then this revelation occurred to me. Old people are just like babies. They get more incapable of taking care of themselves the older they get. Life after a certain age begins to go in reverse. You stop being able to walk, talk and take care of yourself. A parabola - somewhat a Benjamin Button situation but not really.

Except you know what the saddest part is? Babies have their parents to look after them 24/7 but the elderly don't necessarily have this. How sad is it to think that one day our parents will no longer be around to love and take care of us, and all we have are our children (if you have children) who we will pray won't be too busy living their own life to love and care for you when you're old and helpless. You would hope that the same love and care you showered them when they were your baby would be experienced when you are old and incapable.

Aging is terrifying. Not necessarily the grim death part, but the slow deterioration of one's body and eventual loneliness. I guess my message which sparked the dire need for my return post is: Love now, so you don't have to question whether they will still love you later.

MIGU dress  / Lareina purse / Forever 21 earings and rings / Ruby heels